Thursday, May 28, 2009

Hidden Thoughts~ Alessandra: Twilight Eternity

Music flowed from my Ipod as I sat in a crossed legged position on the floor of Aro’s tower watching from the shadows as Aro conversed with the Cullens. I couldn’t understand why the Volturri Guard where so upset with Aro for inviting Carlisle and his family to Volturra. They seemed harmless enough and so what if Aro seemed to favor Carlisle over everyone else. Why shouldn’t he have a favorite? Isn’t that what most leaders did?

I moved my position onto the floor and watched with interest as Carlisle talked to his family. Aro casted a glance in my direction every now and then but never once mentioned me to Carlisle. I didn’t mind. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to meet Aro’s dear friend yet. I couldn’t understand what made Carlisle so special, but I wasn’t upset by it.

I had no reason to be upset by it, after all Aro himself had seeked me out when I had first come to Volterra, and Aro himself had changed me into a vampire. Okay, I had helped with the situation a bit, but all the same, I had no reason to fear that Aro had no affection for me. He held me in the same regard as he did Jane and Alex. We were practically his children. This felt odd for me as I was much older than Jane or Alex. But all the same, compared to Aro, I was much, much younger.

So, I listened to Aro and his dear Saint Carlisle converse with Carlisle’s children to be honest, the conversation was boring and seemed useless and after a while, I grew bored with it. My mind started to slowly drift back to my own family. The family I had before I ran away to Volterra, and as unpleasant as the thought was, I realized that despite the fact that I was surrounded by vampires, I was getting rather lonely. I wondered what it was like to have a family around you all the time, simply because they wanted to be around you, and not because they feared to be around you. I had never had that. Not even with my own family.

The only person in the world who had ever wanted to be near me was my father, and he had been dead for far too many years than I cared to remember. Though the pain of his death was still very vivid in my memory.

I gave a tiny sigh and shifted postions again. Those thoughts were depressing and I didn’t want to be depressed. My step sister had always been the depressed one not me. Not even when things were so hard, that I couldn’t stand it, was I depressed.

I shifted my gaze back to where Aro and the Cullens stood, deciding that it were better to focus back on them rather than my past. My eyes moved to Alice for a moment. I did envy her. Only because she had no memory of her own past and at the moment I would have much rather not remembered my human past. My vampire one had been much more interesting.

Shifting my gaze from Alice, I noticed that there was a book on a table near Aro. I wasn’t exactly sure of the title; I didn’t really care what the title was. The book had to be more interesting than Aro’s conversation with the Cullens was or the depressing mood I seemed to be seeping into.

Without really thinking about it, I motioned the book over to me, and thus, revealed my hiding spot to the Cullens who stared at the floating book in the air with a mixture of astonishment and surprise. Oops! There went my secret, now Aro wasn’t the only one in the tower who knew I was there and I was going to have to reveal myself.

I gave a tiny sigh and stepped out of the shadows glaring at Aro who only looked as pleasant as ever. Life was a never ending game to him. One he never grew tired of because most of the time, he controlled it.

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