Monday, February 22, 2010

Pagan Prayers

After I cleansed and cleaned my home with the help of Petrus of course, I set up a small shrine in the far east corner of the living room. Exactly where the shrine would have been in my father’s villa. I decorated the shrine and sat a small statue of Vesta exactly as I had remembered her at home. I had managed to create the masks for my ancestors and placed the small items belonging to my dead family members I had been allowed to keep around the statue. I gently placed small white candles in holders at the four corners of the shrine and lit them as I held a bunch of dried lavender I had managed to find.

“Vesta, Goddess of the home and fire please accept my sacrifice of lavender and keep my home safe.” I said gently taking a part some of the lavender and burning them. The sweet smell of lavender soon filled the livening room. “Please keep the Volturi in Volterra and far away from Forks.” I burned another bunch of the sweet smelling flower. “And please keep the Cullen’s safe and out of harm’s way.” I burned the last of the lavender and then closed my eyes.

If I looked just right, I could see one of the many paved streets in Rome. I could see the street leading up to the temple of Vesta. The priestess saying their prayers and chants to the Goddess. Standing next to me was my brother Vestus. Tall and hansom with his blond hair as thick and curly as mine. I reached out for him as he spoke my name. Then the vision faded and I was once again in Forks Washington. Blasted!

I opened my eyes to see Petrus standing there looking at me as if I was a crazy woman. I sighed. Petrus, was of course was not my brother. I stood and walked over to the window. Staring at the unchanging cold, wet landscape. I missed Tuscany and Rome. I missed Ancient Rome. I missed the things I knew. The life I was supposed to have. Tears stung in my eyes. Why had the Gods taken that life away from me? I wondered. What was I supposed to do with my life now? Everything I knew was back in Ancient Rome. I had no idea how to live.

“Alessandra?” Petrus asked gently laying his cold hand on my shoulder and turning me to face him. “Are you alright?”

“Leave me alone.”I said and pushed opened the glass doors that lead out to the patio. Petrus gave me a frustrated growl. All I wanted was to be alone, and to be able to think.

“Why won’t you talk to me? One minute you’re happy the next your bitchy and sad. Do you know how irritating it is to live with someone who doesn’t know how to handle their emotions?” He asked following me. Gods why couldn’t he leave me alone? I liked being alone with my thoughts, it was so much easier to be alone then to deal with vampires or humans.

“Petrus, leave me alone!”I said swinging around and staring at him as the tears slowly started. He stared at me and I shoved him back into the room. He didn’t understand anything that I was going through. He wasn’t human; he didn’t watch his family burn before him. He didn’t live through two thousand years of immortally only to be turned human and then live with memories of world that no longer exists.

And yet he expected me to talk to him? I sighed; the only person I had ever really truly been able to talk too was Vestus. And I longed for his company every waking minute of my life. Without my twin brother around to keep me in line and afloat I felt as if a part of me was missing. And truly a part of me was missing.

“You’re so damn moody.” Petrus mouthed at me in the window as I stood in the rain. Gods, he was so annoying. Of all the Volturi, Aro had to send me to Forks with Petrus.

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