Saturday, March 27, 2010

Talking Visions~ Alice Twilight

Jazz and I were cuddled close together with Coco watching a movie with our snacks. Esme had popped in to check in on us like a good mother. Like the mother she was. I had no memories of my past before I became a human but if I had a mother, I had often wondered if she had been like Esme or something different. And then I remembered that my mother placed me in that place. That place that must have been terrible. It had to be terrible because I couldn’t remember it. My life before I became a vampire was just a big vast blank nothing.

I looked at Jasper. He was lucky to remember his past, or perhaps he wasn’t. Perhaps I was the one who was lucky. To not remember something so terrible I supposed in many ways it was nice. I was terrified of remembering it. Remembering what happened to me. And I had often wondered since becoming a vampire if my human memories would come back to me. But so far, I had been lucky. No bad memories or nightmares for that matter which also surprised me. Even Jasper didn’t have nightmares and he had a worst past than I was sure that I had.

“What is it?” Jasper asked suddenly turning to me as if he read my thoughts. That is what I loved the most about Jasper. I didn’t have to tell him what I was feeling, he just knew.

“I was just worrying about stupid things.” I said.

“They cant be stupid things if you were worried about them.”

“I don’t remember my past and I was just wondering if I was going to start remembering it now that I am a human. I mean I haven’t had a vision yet. So does this mean that I am not going to have them?” I asked turning to face the man I was so madly in love with. “Or am I cured? I don’t think I am cured I mean there must have been a reason why my parents stuck me in that place. I’ve always thought it was due to the visions.”

“I’m sure that is what it was Alice. People just don’t put their loved ones into places like that and maybe they didn’t really know what was going on in places like that.” Jasper said softly and gently. “A lot of people don’t know what goes on there. We don’t even know.”

“I… I don’t really want to know either.” I said calmly facing the movie.

“No, I didn’t think you did.” Jasper added.

“Besides, I must have had a terrible past if I shut it all out and cant remember it.” I added. “Though it would be nice to remember them. I mean my family. The way you do. My sister and mother and father. If I had friends. I must have had friends.”

“I’m sure you did, everyone does even Aro.” I laughed.

“Aro has friends because they are afraid of him.”

“Yes but he still has friends.” Jasper pointed out.

“Okay, point taken.” I smiled at Jasper and snuggled closer into him. I always felt safe with him. He wrapped his arms around me.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about the visions Alice. I’m sure they will come when it’s time for them to come. I mean, you could always concentrate on something and see if that helps.”

“I’ve tried.”

“Maybe concentrate on something you know, something close. Like Edward and Bella or Mom and Dad.” Jasper said. “Or Rose and Em.”

“I’ve tried even that. But I think you’re right. When something important is supposed to happen I am sure I will have a vision of it.”

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