Friday, June 11, 2010

Emotional Turmoil (Jasper Twilight)

Never in my whole 160 something years had I encountered someone so unemotionally stable as I did Alessandra. She was the rare exception to anyone I had ever meant, and I was suddenly aware of how deeply depressed she truly was. Her emotional turmoil was like a hurricane coming in from the ocean. One minute she was calm, the next she had some odd flash back, memory of her human life. And then finally she would be angry, even though she rarely showed any of these feeling. Her face was always a mask of calm. Perhaps as a result of hiding her emotions for two thousand years and I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to her. I also was very aware, that I could have easily ended up like Alessandra.

I was also surprised that she had not gone insane the way the rest of the Volturi had. I wondered how she had managed to keep her mind intact, living has she had under Aro’s thumb for two thousand years. I could completely understand why Esme felt threatened by Alessandra as well. Her beauty was far beyond anything I had ever seen. Though I found that it didn’t thrill me the way Alice did. Perhaps it was the emotional state that Alessandra was in. Or perhaps it was simply that I was never going to have anyone other than Alice.

And after having read Carlisle’s emotions towards Alessandra, I knew that he was just as sincere as she was when they said there was nothing between them but a kind of gentle respect for one another. It was like a brother and sister thing. So perhaps Alessandra’s lie hadn’t been so far fetched as the two liked to think it had been. Esme would finally perhaps rest in peace over the situation of her husband and Alessandra.

“Oooh Hoo! I told you I would whoop your ass!” Petrus said suddenly breaking me out of my thoughts. I laughed. Watching Mario try and beat the monster on the TV.

“Not so fast!” I said throwing in a few sudden unexpected moves. I hadn’t been the youngest major in Texas for nothing. I won! I did a dance. “And that, is how you kick some ass!” I said happily standing up and tossing the remote in the spot I had found it. “Yep! Yep!”

I turned to see Alessandra and Carlsle at the table. Carlisle had just finished talking about the wolves and I could see a hopeful look in Alessandra’s eyes. Yet, I didn’t think she would do anything drastic just yet. When Alice turned back into a vampire, I would have to have her keep an eye on Alessandra. She looked at me for a moment, and then back to Carlisle. Struggling with hidden emotions turning inside her. The desire to end everything once and for all, and the decision she knew she had to make. She wouldn’t put us in danger though. That much I read.

“I’ll not put your family in danger Carlisle you must know that by now.” Carlisle looked into her eyes and nodded.

“I had hoped you would say that.” He answered.

“And neither will Petrus.” She added a look towards the New Born still on the sofa.

“I’m not hunting in the area so; you don’t have to worry about me Doc.” He said.

And even though she sounded sincere, I knew that she was still mulling over the idea of crossing that line, just to see if she could die. I looked very gently at her. And suddenly, I felt very sorry for her. She didn’t have anyone to lean on the way we did. Sure she must have had some relationship with Petrus. But I knew it wasn’t anything like I had with Alice. Or Carlisle had with Esme. She needed to get these emotions out or she would do something drastic. I decided that this was something I was going to have to talk to Carlisle about. Perhaps between the two of us we could heal that two thousand year old wound inside her. Whatever it was that was hurting her so much. I also wondered if Carlisle knew what it was that was bothering her so much.

“Besides, Seattle is so full of humans, that no one hardly notices when one goes missing.” Petrus added with a sly smile.

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