Tuesday, July 6, 2010
(Volterra, 1755) Interventions~ (Alessandra Post)
I found myself lowering my eyes back to Carlisle’s notes. I understood why Marcus refused to express any emotion other than the very rare smile or spoken word. I knew what it felt like to have your very reason for living, taken from you. “Marcus is nothing more than a ghost of a person whom he used to be. Aro has a famous way of getting what he wants without seeing the consequences of the results before hand. He wanted to keep Marcus in the guard, but wasn’t expecting to keep a lifeless Marcus.” I replied softly. A vision of my families’ villa swept across my mind without warning and I sucked in my breath.
“Are you alright?” Carlisle asked, concern edging his voice. I nodded, shaking the vision out of my mind’s eye.
“Despite what you may think, I do understand what it’s like to be… To not be accepted by the Guard.” I said softly changing the subject. “No one really listens to what I have to say either, except perhaps Athena. She cannot help her sweet nature.”I smiled. “But I wouldn’t call her a friend. Aro would listen if I talked to him…”I mused. Aro would like nothing better than for me to accept my life and situation as his jewel of Volterra. I would never give him that satisfaction. “Like you, I never wanted this life for myself… It wasn’t…”I shook my head.
“Alessandra have you thought of leaving Volterra?” I blinked and looked into Carlisle’s strange honey brown eyes. Had I thought of leaving Volterra? I always wanted to leave Volterra. But I had never thought of leaving it period. I wasn’t sure if I would even be able too.
“Where would I go?” I asked. “All those I knew are long gone. I doubt that they even have ancestors…”
“So you stay for companionship?” I shook my head.
“No. I wouldn’t consider anyone in Volterra worth the while.” I spoke softly. “I suppose I stay because I never thought of leaving. I always wished I could get away… but the idea of actually leaving never… I never… Escaping… Only once.” I said.
I closed my eyes, remembering exactly how I had tried to escape, by taking my own life. Of course, Aro had smelled the blood and came to my so called rescue before I could die. He had never wanted my death it seemed. Once I had become a vampire, death seemed impossible. I knew that the only way to kill a vampire was to tear them from limb to limb and burn the pieces. Aro would never do that to me unless I somehow threatened him. And how could I ever threaten him? I watched as a paper cuter slowly emerged from the desk and lifted up into the air. If I were human, I’d take the same way out again. The paper cuter dropped back to the desk.
“It didn’t work out the way I wanted it too. Aro intervened of course.”I said softly and simply. If I did leave Volterra… Could I really leave Volterra and blend in with the human society without seeming too out of place? I wondered the idea mildly entertaining. Yes, I suppose I could. I had interacted with humans a few times at Aro’s bidding. I knew enough about society thanks to Sully that I could get by. But where would I go? Rome, perhaps?