Sunday, July 3, 2011

To Live For (Alessandra)


I laid tucked inside a blanket more for the want of being inside a blanket than the need. It was a fluffy, fleece blanket, one of the many things I had brought back with me from America. Or the New World as we stilled called it. My head was laid gently on Petrus’ lap, as he brushed his hand back and forth over my curly hair.  I felt for once completely safe, and content. We had been like this for the past two or three days. Since my brother had arrived. My brother of whom, sat on the floor beside me. He kept staring back up at me as if he still could not believe I was alive. And I continued to do the same. If Petrus minded this look between the two of us, he didn’t say anything about it. I was sure he understood. After all, two thousand years is an awful long time to be without a sibling.

“Is this what you do all the time?” Alex finally asked bouncing a ball back and for the, he had made of rubber bands. I shrugged.

“No. But time does seem to drag on here.” I answered.

“Yeah, especially for those of us who are used to being useful.” Petrus answered dreamily.

“And what useful things are you used to doing?” Alex asked. Petrus grinned at me.

“Petrus was a nurse before he was turned and a lead in a band.” I answered.

“Then you got changed and life got interrupted?”

“Nah, I meant Alessandra.” Petrus answered kissing me. “Saved her life probably too.”

“It’s true.” I answered, gently brushing his hair out of his eyes. I loved looking at his eyes even if they were red. I could imaged they must have been a beautiful brown once.

“Saved your life?” Alex asked.

“I’ve tried to kill myself more than once.” I answered sitting up, still curled up in a blanket.

“Why? Don’t you know vampires can’t kill themselves?”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t try. I don’t want to give Aro the satisfaction of keeping me alive forever. Just to use my talent.” I answered lifting Alex’s rubber band ball up with my mind. Then letting it dropped. “And he killed our family. For the longest time I believed he killed you too. That is unforgiveable that he kept us apart for so long… I just…”

“Alessandra, you have to promise me you wont try and kill yourself again. I cannot go through life again without my sister.” Alex said turning now to face me. He held my hands and looked pleadingly into my eyes. I looked back at him, then sighed softly and nodded. I didn’t want to live forever. I never had. Immorality wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. But, I would not disappoint my brother.

“Alright.” I said sitting back. Looking between Petrus and Alex. “Besides, now I have a little something to live for, I guess.” I said with a weak smile. Petrus sighed, as did my brother. They knew, I still wasn’t completely happy. I doubted I never would be. Aro stole life from me, and I had never gotten it back. But at least I had something now. Something important and maybe something to live for too. 

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